Mornings Like These...

When Brady has been up five times during the night because either his two year molars are busting through or he has what we suspect is croup I think about this picture. As I yawn through the morning, I think about this place. This moment. This day. This picture sums us up. No questions asked.



My absolute favorite wedding picture. Me, him, and a moment. Truly a moment when there was nothing but two people starting their lives together.

Now, I will find some coffee and snuggle my toddler and stare at my large stomach thinking how much things have changed in the past four years.

An Update on My First

In just a few short weeks, less than four, our family will grow. And while we are excited to have a a baby girl joining us, I don't want to lose sight of my first. He is changing and growing all too fast for me. I think as a mama sometimes you get so caught up in the day to day and forget about the remarkable transformation that takes place in such a short amount of time in a child. S0, I thought I would give you a comparison of Brady on the couch at 2 months and 22 months.



I am soaking up every smile, giggle, tear and moment with him because shortly there will be more of us, more to do, and unfortunately less time since I return to school next week. This kid, he melts me. He has my heart exploding with love like I never thought possible. He is fiercely protective of us, so serious and so silly all at the same time. He is 100% ours.

Brady

loves to say mama and dada

runs at a speed that is terrifying to me

gives the best hugs in each morning when he runs in to our room to wake us up

can't seem to stop playing with vehicles- trucks, ambulances, fire trucks, police cars, and just about anything else that has wheels

says "oh look or oh no" at least 100 times a day

watches "The Wiggles" "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" and "Toy Story"

actually gets sad and whimpers when someone else is sad or you tell him someone is sad

can rough house with his dad for hours

loves to be airborne- whether it's in a swing or it is being thrown in the air

will help with anything we are doing from setting the table to sweeping the floor

could play in the water with buckets and shovels all day

wears 18-24 months or 2T depending on the brand

wears size 9 shoes

and size 5 diapers

He is my first, my son and soon to be my oldest.

My Biggest Fear and Mother's Guilt

For the past 22 months, probably even longer, life in my household has been about him. In every breath I find myself thinking about him, worrying about him, smiling at him or telling someone how in love I am with him.

And now, there is another baby who is going to be here in less than three weeks and the same thoughts keep creeping in my head, "Is there enough love? Do I have the capacity to love two the same? Is there enough depth in my heart to love completely, fully and will I be able to show both of them how much I love them? How can I possibly explain to him that he is my first born and no one will ever have the place in my heart? How I can tell him that giving him a sibling is one of the greatest gifts I could give him? How do I make sure he feels special and knows that his mama loves him no less because his sister came in this world?"

There are days that I think he could have been enough. He brings me that much joy and I so consumed with loving him, nurturing him, protecting him, and teaching him that I can't figure out how another one fits. These are the days that I think I am being selfish for wanting another and that I didn't think about him, his needs and his life.

But, I know that this baby will complete us. That these emotions, thoughts and fears while real are irrational and will disappear the moments our eyes meet her. It doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't make my guilt disappear. It doesn't make my tears disappear when think about how much change he will have to adapt to in a few short weeks. Most of all, it doesn't make me love him less. It makes me love him more.

Summer Social- If I Had to Start My Blog Over...

If I Had To Start Over With My Blog I Would Change…

When I say this sentence in my head, my first response is “lots of thing”. The next time I say it, my response is “a couple of things”. Then the third time, I think “not a dang thing”. The blogging world is HUGE. I am just starting to understand that. I am just starting to realize who and what I want to be as a blogger.

In all honesty, if I had to start over, I wouldn't necessarily change a whole lot. I started blogging for family and friends to able to read about our journey as we became first time parents. I think I have accomplished that. However, upon further reflection, here are some things 2 years later that I wish I would have known or changed as time has moved forward.

1. I would have instantly had someone design my blog. I waited almost a year and it was such a nice face lift and overdue.
2. I would have learned more about Photoshop and made sure that I watermarked my images. This is something I need to still do. I hate that when I post a pic on my blog that I have no clue where it is going or who is using it.
3. I wish I would take the time to understand the not so glamorous side of blogging. I keep looking at published posts and know I need to resize pictures to make them bigger but I never just take the time to learn this because I keep telling myself I am going to make the move to wordpress. I swear, I have read how to do it and I just don’t do it. Why? I don’t know but I know it would make my blog look better. I know I need to understand the behind the scenes part of blogging using things like Google Analytics etc… My excuse if I can call it that is time. Between being a working mama, a husband with his own business and #2 coming in a few short weeks, I just can’t bring myself to do this stuff. Writing this makes me realize that I am lazy and need to get on it.
4. Selfishly, I wish I felt confident enough to blog about other things that I like to talk about such as fashion and fitness. I just think that people who do read my blog would think that was weird since they are so use to reading about our family.
5. I would change how frequently and set up posts. I post when I have time. A lot of time I have posts written in my head and I just don’t get them down on the web. I wish I forced myself in to a schedule. I love schedules and I think it would be good for me to have one with blogging. Each week I think about doing a pinterest post with cool things I have found and I don’t. But, I am starting to realize that if I did it consistently people might not only appreciate it, but they would look forward to it.
6. Lastly, I wish I would have bought my own domain and spent some time thinking about the name of my blog! I know I can change it and people won’t care but I just wish I would have thought this through carefully to make sure I like it and would stick with whatever I decided on.

Now, that I have written this hold me to these things. I am going to make changes this year. I really am…if I can find the time.

Keeping Busy...

It's funny how something as simple as a cast felt so restricting to me as a mother and I wasn't the one wearing it. It's funny how that cast represented, because I tend to be a glass half empty person, all the things we couldn't do. Yet, we could. And then it came off. But I was also four weeks farther along in my second pregnancy so "doing" got tougher exponentially. Add the heat and humidity to the mix and this summer has been a hot mess for lack of a better word. So can't do seems to be stuck in my head.

Side Note: As I sat down to write today, in the comfort of my parents' family room, I was thinking about all the things I need to share. I have so many updates including things going on in and about our house, my mother' s guilt and sadness over my only becoming a big, the nursery that was once filled with zoo animals that has changed into a chic pink and gray sanctuary, meeting a tiny newborn and watching one my closest friends seamlessly transition into being a mama, my obsessions on Pinterest and more. So, like any planner, who by the way is IN LOVE with her new MomAgenda, I decided the old blog is going to change. I am going to become more organized in posting, writing, editing and making sure that I talk about other things that I enjoy. I also am moving to wordpress so bear with me here for the next few months as CHANGE will be the key word in our household.

I had this bucket list this summer of "things" that Brady and I were going to do. Seriously, I wrote it out this spring when I was daydreaming about summer days in the city. I wrote it as I thought about this being the last summer where he would have 100% of my attention all the time. As the days have marched on and the heat, my second pregnancy and some others things have gotten in the way I thought I should simplify the list and just try to do a few things and do them right.

When I think about the heat and humidity, I find myself missing my pool days. I spent every summer day there as a kid before high school. And then I started working there all the way through college. I love being around the water. I love being outside and I have always wanted my kids to love humid nights catching lightning bugs, the cool water to splash in on hot days and the way sunshine can instantly make you happier. When we spent spring break in Florida, Brady was still observing the water world. He sat on the edge a lot, played with his toys on the ledge but didn't do a lot of swimming...unless you count jumping in the waves.

This summer... whole new world with water. My kid oves the water. We have a water table, a small baby pool in our backyard, and the hose/sprinkler is our greatest enjoyment when we are home. And the past two days we have gone to Anderson Pool in Normal, IL for toddler time. Awesome concept. Open the toddler pool ONLY in the am to toddlers and their parents. No big kids, no big pool, just a zero depth pool where toddlers can roam. We have spent two mornings playing in this pool, slowly watching as he gets more daring and joy overcomes fear. Yet it has never failed that Brady has begged to go in the big pool when it opens. He went from sitting on the side to now jumping in, kicking his legs, squealing in delight as you tickle his toes from underwater, dunking his own head and refusing to get out or to leave and just saying more, more more. . And, I have to admit, I love it! I also love the monster nap he takes as a result as well!

When not down at my parents, I have tried to expose Brady to water. We live in Chicago where the park district pools aren't the best for clientele or ease with a 21 month old so I ventured to Wilmette, IL to Centennial Pool last week one day. To my delight, they do toddler time too! Seriously, whoever thought this up, is a genius in my eyes. One zero depth pool, open in the am to toddlers only. We played with buckets and trucks and had a ball. The water thing, we have it figured out. It makes us hungry and thirsty if you can't tell!

And then there are the days when the pool just isn't an option. We have had two extremes this summer; hot, humid and sunny or these monster storms. Buckets of rain that last forever and have everyone in the Windy City running for cover.

Last Friday, Brady's aunt wanted to spend some time with us. It had been unbearably hot all week so we said toddler time at the pool would be perfect! But, of course, the weather said otherwise. I had been reading about Pickles Playroom since it opened this spring. Located in Lincoln Square, it is an indoor play space that has a cafe and hair salon attached. I knew that Brady would love it so we ventured there. I could write a whole other post ranting about the "latte moms" who did not play, watch, or discipline their kids, but instead I will tell you this...the place is worth every penny. The play space is awesome. Laura, Brady and I spent two hours there (which was plenty) and the fun was all around us. One week, two cool outings.


I only have two weeks of summer vacation left when I return from Bloomington, so I am thinking that Wagner Farms and Foster Avenue Beach are musts but I am trying to figure out if I am missing anything. I am sure I am but remember, the list had to be cut down.

Happy Weekend Friends! More adventures await us and in the next post I will give you a sneak peak of Baby Girl's nursery... can I just say that I LOVE IT and she is coming pretty darn soon!

What Happens When Dad Stays Home

I rarely talk about my handsome husband of four years on this blog, because let's be honest that there are some things I like to keep to myself and if you know him he is pretty private. He's actually fiercely private. So, for the most part I honor his wishes and I don't talk about him. Here is something I will tell you about him that is no secret to anyone that knows him; he works HARD. REALLY HARD. He works a lot of days, he loves what he does, and he is good at it. So, getting him to take a day off is hard work too!

But, Thursday we celebrated four years of marriage and the cards we exchanged were fitting. Mine was sappy, his was hilarious. I insisted on no gifts. So, he SUGGESTED he take Friday off and we spend some time together as a family. That is one of the many reasons I love him. No prodding from me...just him suggesting we do something together.

I wanted to cross something off our "summer bucket list" so the destination: The Shedd Aquarium.

View from Shedd Balcony

Brady AND I have NEVER been so this was big. Did you know teachers get in for free? Score. Brady was free. So, really, we paid for Glenn's admission and parking.

Looking at all the cool fish

Playing in the submarine (He could of and would of stayed here all day!)
Look at all the buttons!

Scoping out the jellyfish.

I don't really know what I was expecting but seeing whales, dolphins, jellies all the different fish up close was honestly amazing. I wonder what we should cross off next?

Guest Posting and Other Thoughts...

Today, I had the privilege of guest posting over at Back to the Basics! Go over and give Julie and her blog some love! The post is all about my commuting with a toddler at the end of the school year! I have to tell you reading my own post, makes me laugh...I think that's a good sign?

A baby was born yesterday... one of my bestie's welcomed a sweet boy on her mama's birthday and Glenn and I's wedding anniversary. Coincidence? No way! I am just so happy for her family as they start the amazing journey of parenthood.

Another one of my dear friends is in crisis with her family. I don't want to say much more but know that our hearts are heavy with worry and sadness and we are praying her family comes through this.

I am 33 weeks and starting to freak. (I try to take deep breaths but it doesn't work.) We have so much crap to do. The good news is that my parents are home from Colorado so things will get done. Pretty pathetic it takes my mama to get my butt moving. I am 32.

Brady's cast is off. Still got a ways to go...we need to be patient with him and his leg. More on that later...

Happy Weekend! Started off with a trip to the Shedd today and family time tomorrow.