Keeping Busy...

It's funny how something as simple as a cast felt so restricting to me as a mother and I wasn't the one wearing it. It's funny how that cast represented, because I tend to be a glass half empty person, all the things we couldn't do. Yet, we could. And then it came off. But I was also four weeks farther along in my second pregnancy so "doing" got tougher exponentially. Add the heat and humidity to the mix and this summer has been a hot mess for lack of a better word. So can't do seems to be stuck in my head.

Side Note: As I sat down to write today, in the comfort of my parents' family room, I was thinking about all the things I need to share. I have so many updates including things going on in and about our house, my mother' s guilt and sadness over my only becoming a big, the nursery that was once filled with zoo animals that has changed into a chic pink and gray sanctuary, meeting a tiny newborn and watching one my closest friends seamlessly transition into being a mama, my obsessions on Pinterest and more. So, like any planner, who by the way is IN LOVE with her new MomAgenda, I decided the old blog is going to change. I am going to become more organized in posting, writing, editing and making sure that I talk about other things that I enjoy. I also am moving to wordpress so bear with me here for the next few months as CHANGE will be the key word in our household.

I had this bucket list this summer of "things" that Brady and I were going to do. Seriously, I wrote it out this spring when I was daydreaming about summer days in the city. I wrote it as I thought about this being the last summer where he would have 100% of my attention all the time. As the days have marched on and the heat, my second pregnancy and some others things have gotten in the way I thought I should simplify the list and just try to do a few things and do them right.

When I think about the heat and humidity, I find myself missing my pool days. I spent every summer day there as a kid before high school. And then I started working there all the way through college. I love being around the water. I love being outside and I have always wanted my kids to love humid nights catching lightning bugs, the cool water to splash in on hot days and the way sunshine can instantly make you happier. When we spent spring break in Florida, Brady was still observing the water world. He sat on the edge a lot, played with his toys on the ledge but didn't do a lot of swimming...unless you count jumping in the waves.

This summer... whole new world with water. My kid oves the water. We have a water table, a small baby pool in our backyard, and the hose/sprinkler is our greatest enjoyment when we are home. And the past two days we have gone to Anderson Pool in Normal, IL for toddler time. Awesome concept. Open the toddler pool ONLY in the am to toddlers and their parents. No big kids, no big pool, just a zero depth pool where toddlers can roam. We have spent two mornings playing in this pool, slowly watching as he gets more daring and joy overcomes fear. Yet it has never failed that Brady has begged to go in the big pool when it opens. He went from sitting on the side to now jumping in, kicking his legs, squealing in delight as you tickle his toes from underwater, dunking his own head and refusing to get out or to leave and just saying more, more more. . And, I have to admit, I love it! I also love the monster nap he takes as a result as well!

When not down at my parents, I have tried to expose Brady to water. We live in Chicago where the park district pools aren't the best for clientele or ease with a 21 month old so I ventured to Wilmette, IL to Centennial Pool last week one day. To my delight, they do toddler time too! Seriously, whoever thought this up, is a genius in my eyes. One zero depth pool, open in the am to toddlers only. We played with buckets and trucks and had a ball. The water thing, we have it figured out. It makes us hungry and thirsty if you can't tell!

And then there are the days when the pool just isn't an option. We have had two extremes this summer; hot, humid and sunny or these monster storms. Buckets of rain that last forever and have everyone in the Windy City running for cover.

Last Friday, Brady's aunt wanted to spend some time with us. It had been unbearably hot all week so we said toddler time at the pool would be perfect! But, of course, the weather said otherwise. I had been reading about Pickles Playroom since it opened this spring. Located in Lincoln Square, it is an indoor play space that has a cafe and hair salon attached. I knew that Brady would love it so we ventured there. I could write a whole other post ranting about the "latte moms" who did not play, watch, or discipline their kids, but instead I will tell you this...the place is worth every penny. The play space is awesome. Laura, Brady and I spent two hours there (which was plenty) and the fun was all around us. One week, two cool outings.


I only have two weeks of summer vacation left when I return from Bloomington, so I am thinking that Wagner Farms and Foster Avenue Beach are musts but I am trying to figure out if I am missing anything. I am sure I am but remember, the list had to be cut down.

Happy Weekend Friends! More adventures await us and in the next post I will give you a sneak peak of Baby Girl's nursery... can I just say that I LOVE IT and she is coming pretty darn soon!

What Happens When Dad Stays Home

I rarely talk about my handsome husband of four years on this blog, because let's be honest that there are some things I like to keep to myself and if you know him he is pretty private. He's actually fiercely private. So, for the most part I honor his wishes and I don't talk about him. Here is something I will tell you about him that is no secret to anyone that knows him; he works HARD. REALLY HARD. He works a lot of days, he loves what he does, and he is good at it. So, getting him to take a day off is hard work too!

But, Thursday we celebrated four years of marriage and the cards we exchanged were fitting. Mine was sappy, his was hilarious. I insisted on no gifts. So, he SUGGESTED he take Friday off and we spend some time together as a family. That is one of the many reasons I love him. No prodding from me...just him suggesting we do something together.

I wanted to cross something off our "summer bucket list" so the destination: The Shedd Aquarium.

View from Shedd Balcony

Brady AND I have NEVER been so this was big. Did you know teachers get in for free? Score. Brady was free. So, really, we paid for Glenn's admission and parking.

Looking at all the cool fish

Playing in the submarine (He could of and would of stayed here all day!)
Look at all the buttons!

Scoping out the jellyfish.

I don't really know what I was expecting but seeing whales, dolphins, jellies all the different fish up close was honestly amazing. I wonder what we should cross off next?

Guest Posting and Other Thoughts...

Today, I had the privilege of guest posting over at Back to the Basics! Go over and give Julie and her blog some love! The post is all about my commuting with a toddler at the end of the school year! I have to tell you reading my own post, makes me laugh...I think that's a good sign?

A baby was born yesterday... one of my bestie's welcomed a sweet boy on her mama's birthday and Glenn and I's wedding anniversary. Coincidence? No way! I am just so happy for her family as they start the amazing journey of parenthood.

Another one of my dear friends is in crisis with her family. I don't want to say much more but know that our hearts are heavy with worry and sadness and we are praying her family comes through this.

I am 33 weeks and starting to freak. (I try to take deep breaths but it doesn't work.) We have so much crap to do. The good news is that my parents are home from Colorado so things will get done. Pretty pathetic it takes my mama to get my butt moving. I am 32.

Brady's cast is off. Still got a ways to go...we need to be patient with him and his leg. More on that later...

Happy Weekend! Started off with a trip to the Shedd today and family time tomorrow.

My Home Away from Home

With summer moving quicker than I would like to admit for many reasons, namely a toddler that still has a cast on his leg (it comes off next week) and my ever growing stomach, slowing my down and reminding me that our time as a family of three is getting shorter and shorter, I did what I do each summer last week...I went home to Bloomington-Normal to visit my parents. For some reason when I am down there, I relax. I am sure it has something to do with the fact that school is out leaving the drama and the daily grind in a distant memory as I drive down I-55 South but I check my phone less, my shoulders aren't as tense and I spend more time soaking up a toddler who I am madly in love with and find myself trying to keep little. So we took a trip back to my first home.

A place...

where the success of your days are measured by how dirty your feet are from the splash park and the yard no not how many minutes it took you to get home.

where the dinners are cheap but so good and don't need a magazine rating to tell you why you should eat there.

where watering the plants is a daily ritual because the heat and humidity are enough to stifle your energy reminding you that there is such a season as summer.

where toddler time at the parks and recreation pool means the freedom to let your kid roam, explore, splash and play all while an equal amount of parents keep a watchful eye.

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where a trip to Dairy Queen is easy and drinking the last drops makes it taste that much better.

where the car can be washed in the driveway, not in an alley or the automatic washer at the gas station and the help is even better.

where eating a Popsicle on the porch only last minutes as the sticky liquid drips down your chin on to your shirtless belly.

where the swings are a plenty and grass is so soft it tickles your feet when you walk.

My HOME is with my boys wherever they are, both of them. Our little house in the big windy city is my home. But Bloomington-Normal is where I am from, my first home. On this trip, I found myself nostalgic. Unplugged from technology, I spent a lot of time worrying less, crafting more, watching as my toddler got to spend hours doing simple things that brought him so much happiness. Spending time with some of the most important people in my life never gets old. The look on Brady's face after his nap when his daddy arrived will be carved in my memory. I may not get home as often as I would like but I feel like each time it gets a bit sweeter and I am proud to say it's where I am from. My home away from home.

Weekend Randomness

The weather this weekend in Chicago reminded me why I love Chicago in the summer. The sun was shining all weekend long. There was not one ounce of humidity in the air. The nights were filled with cool breezes coming off the lake and we woke up to birds chirping.

LAKE MICHIGAN

We took a trip down memory lane. To the lakefront. The place I will always associate with my engagement, my husband, and the beginnings of our adventures that have led us to where we are. As we biked there I seriously questioned if my 30 week pregnant body would defy me. It didn't and the lakefront didn't disappoint.


I watched in awe, with tears in my eyes as my boys watched boats from the harbor enter the sparkling, shining, blue water of Lake Michigan. I stood behind them and the only thought I could clearly hear in my head which had been swirling with to do's, must do's and do now lists was don't forget this image. Etch this moment in your brain because this is what life is about.

ICE CREAM

If you talk to me you know that like mother like son, my kid hates milk. But the kid loves, ice cream. And I am not above feeding it to him EVERY SINGLE NIGHT if it means some dairy goes in his body to help those bones heal. So, for the sake of not lugging him and his weapon of a cast to Scooters or Dairy Queen every night, I decided to become an ice cream shop. Saturday night it was chocolate milkshakes. And they didn't disappoint.


HOME IMPROVEMENT
Our house is our home. We have been "working on it" since we bought it (i.e. it has been sucking money from us since we bough tit) It has become a symbol of our efforts. It has new fixtures, redesigned spaces that I will show you soon, and every modern amenity that you would or could want in a house. It also means our kid has learned the joys of Menards and Home Depot. This weekend, paint stirrers were the drum sticks and paint cans the drums. The carpet was just taking up precious space in his cart.


Happy Monday! Can you believe July is already here? That means we are less than 10 weeks away from meeting our newest addition! The to do list is back to swirling in my head...Have a great week!

Dad's Day 2011

It's hard to find someone that meets your expectations as a man. As a husband, as a friend and probably most importantly as a dad. When you grow up with a dad who doesn't have a mean bone in his body, whose sense of humor is effortless, whose patience is tireless and willingness is overwhelming you struggle to ask yourself daily if there is anyone out there that can match him quality for quality.
I think I found one...

This week I have been reminded of that more than ever. Sure, we have had some moments that neither of us are proud of. But, when you have a active toddler in a cast, sometimes his frustrations become our frustrations. But this week, he has also been our backbone. Literally and figuratively. Holding Brady as he got x-rays since pregnant mamas are not allowed in the room, carrying him everywhere since 7.5 months and a 30lb toddler don't go well together and reminding me as we dropped him off at Bright Horizons that this is harder on us than him.

So, on Father's Day, I want to wish the two best dad's I know, that I am proud to call mine, Happy Father's Day. Today is day to celebrate you... to remind both of you just how much you mean to me and him!
Thanks for letting us experience the highs and helping us to cope with the lows! We love you!

B-R-O-K-E-N and Blue

Saturday night I was sitting at the Eastside Centre in East Peoria, Illinois watching my softball team play for 3rd place in State of Illinois 4A Tournament.

We had been in Central Illinois with my team since Thursday, my parents on "Brady Duty" while I coached and Glenn traveled for work. The season was ending that night. Summer was here. Glenn was home from a rare business trip. We were going to settle in and start preparing for the arrival of our second child.

I checked my phone after the second inning and saw I missed a call from my mom. Weird I thought to myself. Maybe he is running a fever since the daycare cold refuses to quit. Or maybe she has something to ask me about food. No. Not my ma's style to call me about something that minuscule. Then I saw a text message asking me to call her. My mama's instinct kicked in and I knew, just knew, that something was wrong.

She and my dad had been watching Brady all weekend while I was coaching. They had taken him to the splash park, eaten Dairy Queen, watched Mickey Mouse and gone to the park. Honestly I am not even sure Brady knew I was gone those two afternoons. My mama and papa care for him sometimes better than I think I do. They have those instincts that you can' t teach. Brady whines when my dad leaves the room. He looks for my mom at meal time. He was safe. But I just knew something was not right.

I grabbed my phone and walked behind the grandstand and dialed the number I know by heart and dial each morning. I dialed with an urgency I couldn't place, my heart beating quicker with each breath.

"What's wrong?"
"Well, Kristi, we think Brady got hurt at the park today."
"Hurt? What do you mean? Is he upset?"
"No, not right now but he can't stand on his leg. We think he may need to go to the ER."
"What happened?"
"We aren't sure. He went down the slide with grandpa and started crying."
"I am on my way home. Pack a diaper bag with food, toys etc... and I will meet you there."
"I am so sorry sweetheart"
"Sorry? For what? You and dad didn't do anything."

I rushed back to the dugout, found my assistant athletic director explained to her Brady had been hurt and going to ER and that I needed to leave. I ran out of the Eastside Centre, literally ran if you can imagine a 28 week pregnant girl doing this, to my car.

I picked up my phone and drove, quickly but safely, back to Bloomington. For some reason, I was calm. I knew I needed to call my husband who was 120 miles away. I knew I needed to think clearly because there was a 20 month old that was going to need his mama.

My next phone call was to Glenn.
"I need you to go somewhere alone, where you can be calm, listen and hear me."
"Okay. What's up?"
"Brady got hurt at the park. My parents think he broke his leg. I am meeting them at the ER."
"Do you want me to get in the car and drive down?"
"No. Let me see what is going on when I get to the ER."

I got to the Bromenn Regional Medical Center Emergency Room in Normal, at the exact minute my parents got there. He wasn't crying. He smiled when he saw me and my dad got him out of the car. He waved and for a moment I wondered if my parents, were just overreacting.

The next hour was a blur...a quick blur. The diagnosis was spiral tibula fracture. I remember the doctor saying, "common, toddlers, easy to heal" but past I couldn't tell you what she said.

An almost 20 month old with a fracture in his leg.

I have never seen this sadness in my dad's eyes before. He felt responsible, guilty and horrible even though we didn't and still don't blame him. Accidents happen. They happen every single day. My papa...being a good grandpa and honoring my toddler's wishes rode down the slide with him and somehow in a freak accident, his tibula fractures.

After getting a temporary cast put on, we were on our way. We needed to see an orthopedic surgeon and had to wait until Wednesday so the swelling would subside. All I could think, was this is our new normal. 28 weeks pregnant and our new normal.

I was a rock until Sunday afternoon and we were driving back to Chicago. I am not sure what the trigger was but I couldn't keep it in. The tears flowed. I wasn't mad. I wasn't sad. I wasn't angry. I was emotional. I was hormonal. I was selfishly sad for how quickly "summer" had just changed. I was taking it worse than Brady. I spent most of the day crying. And that night, as Glenn pulled me close, after he couldn't listen to me cry as I did laundry, ate yogurt, or sat at the table, I released what I had been thinking for so long.

This is MY FAULT. This is because I am selfish. This is because I couldn't walk away from something that is my passion. If I wasn't coaching, this wouldn't have happened. If I wasn't trying to "do it all", as he reminds me so frequently when life spirals out of control our house, this wouldn't be our new normal. I am reason he his hurt. I am the reason our summer will be "different". I did this.

This week our "new normal" has been a roller coaster. Monday was okay. Not great but okay. See, when you can't burn energy you have a lot. And you don't nap. Making a pregnant mama crazy and a toddler pretty upset. Tuesday was bad. Brady was unhappy, I was unhappy and we were a puddle of tears by the time Glenn came home to rescue us. My OB appointment did not go well and I knew I was in trouble, physically and emotionally. I threw myself a pity party most of the day.

I woke up today knowing that we would get answers. We would know what life was going to be like. I knew today, I needed to buck up. My husband will tell you that "carry" to much but today I knew I needed to carry my emotions quietly. I need to be a mama.

We had our first appointment with an orthopedic surgeon at Children's Memorial. We got this shiny blue cast.
There were positives and negatives. The good news is that it will be taken off in four weeks, ironically on our wedding anniversary. Also good, is that the doctor told us Brady will not remember this and it will not impact him whatsoever going forward. More good news is that it is waterproof so he gets to take a bath and we actually have to get it wet every day. (Edit: This has been interesting. After the bath tonight we couldn't figure out how to drain it. But we knew it was not drained because Brady was leaving these little puddles wherever he sat.) The bad news is that the cast is over the knee and half way up the thigh.


He scoots. He army crawls. He still finds a way to get in to things he is not supposed to be in. Today, as I was preparing lunch I put him in front of the Wiggles on TV only to find he had scooted to the playroom and found a crayon to color our walls with. Normally, I would be pissed, but today, I was just proud. He does love the extra snuggles (so do we). He watches more TV than we would like. We are adjusting to our new normal. He has clearly adjusted better than we have.


Do we need help? Yes. My OB has made it clear that she will not allow me to care for Brady alone at the expense of our little girl. Are we going to have to get some help? Yes. And we have friends and family who are willing. Accepting it is hard.

So, our new normal is normal. It's not so bad. It's hard but it's just a curve ball in our game of life. And I think one day we will look back and laugh. As the doctor told us today, this will be something to look at in pictures years from now and laugh with him about.

Disclaimer: I tried to be objective and honest when writing this. There is a fine line between negligence and accidents. Four days later I blame NO ONE, not even myself. I want anyone who reads this to know that I consider myself the luckiest girl in the world for the amazing dad I have. I do not blame him. There is no one to blame. It was a fluke accident and it could have happened to any of us with Brady.