ALL DONE- Brady

Some things I don’t blog about. I don’t blog about them because I worry that I am exposing too much of “us” on the internet. I also worry that I will sound like I am whining when there are plenty of parents out there who are watching their babies fight for their lives and our challenges seem small. But, I want to write about something in case anyone else has our experience and it involves talking.

When Brady turned one, we asked our pediatrician if she was concerned that Brady was not talking. She wasn’t so we weren’t either.

Glenn and I talked about it all the time. "Should he be talking more?" "Are you worried he is not talking very much?" "Do you think something is wrong?"

At his 18-month well visit, we asked again. She was concerned but not overly. She said we would keep an eye on it and discuss our options when he turned two. We were concerned. He had just started daycare and all he could say was “Dall Done”.

Other kids had vocabularies that far exceeded his. Other kids were putting two words together. Other kids were communicating their needs at daycare. Other kids were able to defend themselves at daycare using words. Brady could do NONE of these things. He got it. He was smart. He understood. But he just wouldn’t talk. No words. He was frustrated. He was getting bit. And we were worried.

Over the summer I had him evaluated by Early Intervention.

In my head, I believed my ma. She told me that some kids just take longer to talk. Brady would have a “light switch” moment and his vocabulary would explode. I believed her. But, I still had him evaluated in July because I was anxious about another baby, him not talking and possibly regressing even further into complete silence.

Cognitively, he was functioning at 30 months. He was only 21 months.

Verbally, he was functioning at 12 months. He was 21 months.

He qualified.

My heart sank. Did we do something wrong? Was it because he was with a nanny from age one to one and half by himself all day? Could we have done more? What if didn’t talk?

I won’t bore you with the details but I will tell you that EI, thru the state of Illinois, was more expensive than private speech therapy. So, we began private speech therapy in August. One hour per week.

He hated it. He was stubborn. He refused to engage some days. He had therapy in our home. He was having therapy at the end of a long day that involved daycare and commuting. He was talking a bit more but neither Glenn nor I were convinced it was result of speech therapy. We weren’t sure what to do after 3 months.

He was getting bit at daycare repeatedly by the same kid. Daycare was convinced if he could be more verbal and defend himself with words, he wouldn’t be bitten anymore. We were frustrated. We wanted him to talk more. We needed him to talk more. We needed the tantrums to stop. We needed him to tell us what he needed. We needed him to be able to talk to his teachers at school.

I wondered if we should stop given the amount of change that had occurred in our house. Was it causing more harm than good? Should we move the therapy up to daycare? Should we stick with it? I thought about it all the time.

I headed to Bloomington for a week while I was off on maternity leave before Thanksgiving. We got there and my mom asked Brady who was in the car seat next to him and he instantly responded “Cate”. I wasn’t sure if I heard him right. But I did. He said her name. For the first time. The next seven days his vocabulary exploded. He said new words each day. It didn't stop. He has continued to say new words daily. He says anything we say. He will try to say anything we ask him to. The light switch turned on.

I decided that I was going to move his speech therapy during the day at daycare. He was talking so much more but I just knew that after school in the middle of the week wasn’t working. It was going to cost us dramatically more, but I felt like it would be easier on him. He had to be re-evaluated if we were going to use EI at his daycare. They were here on Thursday.

Cognitively, he is functioning at 42 months. He is only 26 months.

Verbally, he is functioning at 25 months. He is 26 months.

He is “ALL DONE”. He does not qualify for speech services.

My gut all along told me that he would be fine. He would talk. He was just a late talker because he was so interested in doing. My mind told me as his mother I needed to do whatever necessary to get him talking. Have him evaluated. Get him therapy.

I don’t think he needed speech therapy. I don’t think it’s the reason he talks now. He’s busy. He’s a late bloomer. He is curious, funny and sweet.

He took his time. He’s all done and we are ready to move on.