Cate {18 Months}

Hey Cate,

You’re growing up before our eyes. Seriously, stop it. Stop growing up. Stop it with the sass. Stop it with the snuggles and the kisses that make us fall madly in love with you two seconds after we are exasperated with you.

There is not a meal that you don’t ask for a “bi” asking for what is on our plate. You walk in to the kitchen going to the pantry and say “dat” for anything you see that you can put in your belly.   You eat more than your brother does. You try anything. You want your own plate on your tray.  You want to be a big girl.  Yet, somehow you seem to still give us fits on the growth chart. Weighing in at a small 23 pounds you are in the 20^th percentile for weight… barely. Yet, those long legs are already giving your daddy gray hairs. 80^th percentile for height my sweet Cate.    Long and lean, huge blue eyes and long lashes spell trouble for us. 

You are so verbal and so capable of understanding. We ask you if you want to take and bath and you respond with “bubbes”.  Yes, you can have bubbles baby girl. “Pa Pa” you say as you try to pop the bubbles away!

I ask you where your eyes are and you blink. I ask about your teeth and you smile and point. But best of all, when I ask where your nose is, you stick your finger high up in your nostril.  Oh Cate, you are silly! 

You continue to have your share of germs. First RSV, then whooping cough to the latest diagnosis of double ear infection, sinus infection and molluscum contagiosum.  Lovely, really.  You are smart enough to know when we are trying to give you medicine and say no and run away. 

Your fearlessness has given you a fair share of bumps and bruises.  You hoard like your mother. Filling up anything with “stuff” dumping it out and doing it all over again. 

You used to be all daddy all the time but lately it’s me. It’s about mama… to feed you, brush your teeth and put you to sleep. You whine for me. And the whining grates on me after a long day but I know you just need me to love you for a while as your explore the big world. 

At the end of every night, when I lay you in your crib, I tell you “nigh nigh” you say it back to me.   I feel my stomach knot knowing that you are becoming a big girl and the baby in you is all but gone.  Try to stay little and need me a bit longer okay? 

Love,
Mama

Currently v.2

This blog has been silent for longer than I would have liked. But, what am I to do when the days consist of swimming lessons, softball coaching, and dinner making, grading papers, and trying to keep some sort of order in our house.   Sometimes, even the things that I mean to do go to the bottom of the list and sadly stay there.  Currently…

Eating… healthy. Seriously, with spring break just two weeks away, I find myself craving healthy foods like fruit and vegetables. I think it may also be related to Glenn and I exercising more and wanting to get back in to shape.  The years of being pregnant and nursing were hard on my body so healthy eating is just a start but I am loving feeling better, sleeping better not to mention my clothes fitting looser.

Drinking…water.  I find myself drinking a ton of water at school. We have a great water cooler and some days when I am just tired of sitting and staring at my computer screen, I walk to the teacher’s cafeteria to fill my cup with ice and water just as a way of taking a break.  Seriously, in a day I drink Starbucks and water…just waiting for summer so I can start sipping lemonade again!

Listening…to the buzz in my classroom as my students work on projects. I just got done watching two videos kids sent me about wealth distribution in America and real estate agents and the seller’s interest.  Both were fascinating but I think what is more remarkable is listening to kids talk about them and being excited about this stuff.

Reading… “The Shallows” by Nicholas Carr. With the unbelievable amount of technology that is being used and brought in to schools, I am furiously reading this book to understand some of the research related to what the internet is doing to our brain. Have you read it?

Come back next week. I will have an 18 month update on Cate and pictures from the annual St. Patrick’s Day parade and party at my brother’s house! I promise I will try to write more… Happy weekend! 

30 Things- Number 4

{10 Things You Would Tell Your  16 Year Old Self}

Happy Monday Friends! I took a blogging break for a week, okay maybe two because life just forced me to but I am back and ready to go with some posts.

{Edit- I wrote this in one sitting without thinking, just writing. Funny what comes to your mind right?} 

Okay, so here’s the thing. That was more than ½ my lifetime ago and I have learned all about myself and life since then. And no, I am not making excuses, I am just keeping it real.   I was going to talk about people and then decided that my kids need to know who I was, what I struggled with and wish I would said to myself...

1. Dressing in clothes that are one size too big is just not cool. I know you’re insecure because you have this muscular figure that isn't seen as attractive but, own it, accept it and embrace it instead of wearing that big baggie green Abercrombie sweatshirt and thinking it looks cute.

2. Boys at 16 are just boys. You loved him sure and there were a lot of moments that you will remember with him but remember there is life after him and he really isn't worth the tears and the sadness you gave him.

3. Your mama is pretty amazing.  She will continue to be your best friend. Not just when you want new clothes or someone to lay in the sun with. She will be there when you heart is broken, your life seems to be going nowhere, when you meet the man of your dreams and you become a mama yourself. Remember this when you are mad because she says she can’t go to that house on Saturday night.

4. Embrace going to St. Louis to see your grandparents. Yes, the drive sucks, it is boring at times, but there are so many stories, such little time with them and all they want is to be a part of your life. You aren't cooler than them and some day you will wish you were closer than you are and that you knew even more about them. 

5. Don’t be afraid to be friends with her, or go out on a date with him, or take that hard smart kids class. Seriously, who cares if that doesn't make you popular?  The reality is that that word is relative and really doesn't matter when you get older.

6. Stop smoking now. I know you thought it was cool because other people did it but it isn't and you will wonder when you get older what permanent damage you have done.

7. Don’t drive that night in a couple of years that you shouldn't have. Don’t do it. You got so lucky that you didn't get in more trouble than you did. 

8. For god’s sake, take care of your feet. I know you love being a guard at the pool and wearing flip flops but the damage you do will never go away and you will forever being disgusted by your feet. 

9. Do something. Be change maker. Start a club. Find a new friend. Explore a hobby. Yes, athletics is your passion, but find another one. There is so much in life you should try and do it now while you are young, carefree and able to do anything.

10. Every night when you go to bed, ask yourself, “Was I my best self today? Do I like who I am?” If the answer is no to either of these, change it. Stop now. Be better.

Currently v.1

I have been trying to challenge myself a bit with writing and found a link up that forces me to still give you tidbits about our life but also makes me reflect more on what is really going on in our world.
Currently...

Loving~ decorating our new house and reading HGTV magazine.  This magazine has officially become my favorite subscription each month.   I find myself wanting to try everything and become a DIY. We have lived in our house for six months and for some reason the itch to really start decorating and making some decisions kicked in last month.  New light fixtures, new windows, changing out door knobs and new plans for our mudroom and living room are getting me excited and ready to tackle it all. My goal is to have our main floor mostly decorated and the landscaping done by the end of the summer. Then the next year we will focus on the upstairs and outdoor patio.  My dad is a big part of this. And this fixture below is just one of three new light fixtures going in our house.  We also picked out two more from Lightopia. This one and another one. 

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Dreaming~ I have been dreaming lately of warmer weather.  The feeling of sand between my toes, my feet slipping on flip flops easily, lazy afternoons in the warm sunshine, and cool breezes at night that require a long sleeve t-shirt.  I am craving having the windows open and the breeze that comes thru them.  I am dreaming of waking up with my kids whose sun-kissed cheeks signal that they have gotten to be young and worry about little.  This is that time of the year that I start counting down to spring break and the week away from our daily lives that I so badly need.  

pretty right? but I need some warm weather...

Admiring~ anyone who has the courage to be really bold with fashion. I see all of these cute things in stores like Ann Taylor Loft, Anthropologie, JCrew and Nordstroms and think then when I try it on I just feel plain silly. I used to think I was really fashionable and still think I am classic in what I wear but some days I just wish I was the girl who could pull off the neon skinny denim with a brocade jacket like the girl on the cover does.

Kissing~ my husband and kids…even more than usual this week. With Brady at the daycare in my high school, I sneak in there a couple of times a week during the day just to give him a couple of extra kisses before nap time or after lunch.  Cate is still pretty stingy with her kisses but I will sneak a couple in with her too! And Glenn well he gets some too!

Gifting~ Currently, I am gifting myself a pass on the need to be perfect. Brady’s valentine cards for his class were not handmade, we ate sushi one night and I skipped working on Thursday because I think I am starting to finally understand that being imperfect is actually better than being totally perfect. In the quest to be perfect, I lose perspective, time I could have spent with the people I love and I become resentful. So, maybe this week I didn’t get 4 workouts in…. next week I will try to fit them in.  But that pass is just what I needed after some wild weeks in our house. 

Have a happy weekend! We are headed to the Blackhawks game tonight, Glenn is headed out of town tomorrow with friends and my parents are coming up to do some house stuff with me! 

30 Things- Number 12

12. A Typical Day in Our House

{She hate the mittens if you can't tell.} 

In case you missed my post last week about this series I have started, you can read about it here.  Committing to doing this is hard. But, I am going to try to get in all in this space.  I thought I would tell you about a typical day in our house but trying to take pictures to prove it just wasn't in the cards.  Baby steps people. So, I will leave you pictures from our fun in the snow Saturday.  

5:20am- Glenn's alarm goes off and he gets out the door and to the gym. It's literally in our back yard! I reset the alarm and go back to sleep until 5:55. Depending on what I have going on that day, sometimes going back to sleep is impossible.

5:55am- My alarm goes off and I hop in the shower. I watch the monitor as I shower begging for Brady and Cate to stay asleep. Knock on wood, they have never woken up. 

6:30- Glenn comes home from the gym. Usually Brady is awake and watching tv in our bed under the covers, while I get ready and Glenn showers.

7:00- Brady is dressed, has juice and he and I attempt to get out the door with little drama. The shoes, mittens, boots, coat and hat routine takes a while and that is just for him. I grab my lunch, school bag, gym bag and his daycare bag and we are out the door.

7:05- Starbucks. Need I say more? We usually utilize the drive-thru and Brady gets a petite vanilla bean scone.

7:15- Cate wakes and Glenn gets her changed and ready for our nanny. Usually she leaves him a “lovely” present in her diaper.

7:20- Daycare drop-off.  Some days this is easy peasy and other days it is a horrible start to the day.

7:45- School. Meetings. Class. Observations. Reports.

7:45- Daddy leaves for work.

4:00- Daycare pick up. Usually this goes smoothly with Brady greeting me with a bear hug and ready to leave but some days he cries because he wants to stay at school and play.  We head home and relieve the nanny and see Cate who usually waiting by the door.

4:30- I usually get dinner started and Brady and Cate start whining. Cate is spends from now until dinner time scavengering  for any food we will give her and Brady is looking for milk and for me to turn on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

5:00- Glenn walks in the door. 

5:30- Dinner. Chaos. Lots of negotiations, shoveling of food in our mouths and frustration.

6:00- Bath. Depending on the night who gives baths changes. Lately, I have been giving Brady a bath and Glenn does Cate. While Cate is taking a bath, we usually play hide and seek with Brady.

6:30- Play. We try to really play with the kids after the bath. Sometimes I leave for the gym if I didn’t work out at school.

7:00- Cate goes down and takes her only bottle of the day. It is warm milk and she has started to ask for her “baba” when she is really tired.  Brady usually settles in with legos and then moves to the iPad.

7:30- Bottle and sippy cup washing, cleaning up the kitchen, packing lunches and getting organized usually happens.  At least a night a week one of us is either at the gym or working late which makes this look different.

8:00- Lights out for Brady. He always asks for “three more minutes” and then we have to count down to have him turn the iPad off.  Usually he wants us to carry him up and then we read one story and he is asleep.  (Yes, I know we are lucky).

8:15- Glenn and I try to watch a show together or at least talk for a bit each night. Some nights we watch different tvs but usually we watch together.  I am usually on email or grading while we watch something. 

9:00- Glenn and I head upstairs. We are both reading a lot lately, so we settle in with our e-readers for the night. Some nights, I grade on my iPad, respond to emails and work from bed.

10:00- Lights out. 

Why I Write- A Challenge for Me

I was perusing pinterest the other day… aimlessly looking at my feed.  Usually when I am overwhelmed at work, I avoid the stress and head to pinterest to clear my head.   Some days I get on a kick about a particular topic or idea but usually I just pin stuff that I want to know more about or remember. I saw this pin. And ever since then I have been thinking about it. Why I write.  Even though I haven’t written with frequency lately. 

This space started as a way of keeping family mostly in the loop about my first pregnancy. I thought it would be a neat way to share updates, pictures and information with anyone who wanted it, specifically my parents because they are a couple of hours away. 

But, now it is more.  So much more.  This space is capturing my memories. My stories.  Our life. Those small moments like I talked about last week that happen so fast and are such a small part of any one day but they are the things I want to remember. I want to remember the tiny moments that seem so inconsequential to most but mean so much to me. I want to remember how Cate takes Brady his milk when we get home every day and how much fun Brady has being superman at night with his towel on his head after the bath. 

But I also want this space to be a place where my kids get to know me and who I am. What defines me. What drives me and why.  So, I am committing today, really I am, to answering these thirty prompts on Monday of each week. A little bit about me. So one day, if they ever want to know more or need to know more, it will be somewhere.   

Want to join me?

Adopted from: http://www.babymakingmachine.com/2012/11/30-things-my-kids-should-know-about-me.html

 

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Big Memories in Small Moments

“Cate, can I have a kiss?”

“Uh-uh” And she shakes her head no smiling.

“Cate, can I have a hug?”

“Uh-uh” As she shakes her head no again busy with wooden blocks.

“Mommy, I can give you a kiss and a hug” he tells me.

“You can?”  I ask to make him smile.

“Yeah, I can” as he rushes to me and knocks me over to hug and kiss me.

I lay her down in her crib after her only bottle of the day. She isn't asleep but she's drowsy. I grab a blanket and cover her with it. She doesn't move but I can see in the darkness her eyes as they follow me.  I stroke her hair with my hand.  Sweeping her bangs out of her eyes and tucking the few long pieces behind her ears.  She lays there not moving and I whisper “good night, sweet girl”.  Walking away is the hardest part. I shut the door and as soon as I look at her on the monitor she has flipped to her belly for the night.

“Mommy you stay and snuggle with me?”

“Sure, buddy. For one minute”

“Okay.”

My mind races of all the things I need to do, could do, should do and then like a light switch it stops. I listen to him breathe. I feel his feet against my legs. My own eyes growing heavy with fatigue after the day that has unfolded. 

“Mommy’s gonna go bye bye buddy.”

“You stay for three more minutes please?”

“One more buddy.”

“Okay.”

I lay there keenly aware that he wants me next to him and that soon he won’t want me in his room.

“Night night buddy. I love you. To the moon”

“And back” as he finishes my sentence.I walk out and leave wondering how long he will let me keep this routine.